Have we met before?
I recall your name was Art
Or Andy, something.
Anyway, you were
In the middle of handle
Number two already.
Funny thing, vodka
Clear liquid but its results
Visibly shock guests.
So, not too stunning
When your spew decorated
Paul's tile bathroom floor.
Or, say, the kitchen
Or stairwell past the kitchen
Or stairwell hallway.
And the compost pile?
Right by the basil garden?
C'est magnifique, sir!
Once you hit the ground
Final bursts began, nearly
Small wheelbarrow volumes.
We were on your side
While you lay splayed on yours, too
Unable to move.
Oh, sure, thrash about
Screech you will rise and kick ass
We ain't buying shit.
Eventually
Alex (Alex?) or Jenny figured
It was best to act
Lest a fetid pool
Consume you; a tawdry death
Jimi minus rock.
About eleven
We left you with some bread and
Vitamin Water.
Perhaps you lay still
Still, innocent jabbering
Coats the summer night.
But most likely, friend
You've regained youthful vigor
In time for Beirut.
-postscript: it was a tad difficult to toast the s'mores over the sound of dry, vicious wretching bereft of fluid or pleasure. Somehow, we managed. S'mores are awesome.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Saturday, August 30, 2008
One Man's Thoughts On Sarah Palin
Mike, you won't fucking believe it!
What the fuck, Doug, it's three in the morning. Don't you knock?
I haven't slept in days, listen man! I had the best fucking idea, the best man, the best, shit.
Shh...shh. I'll get up, stop hitting, oh, ow, stop, alright. Alright, the best idea you said, what is ---- are you bleeding? Do you have a nosebleed?
Yeah, hit the door of my room running into yours.
You're bleeding all over your forehead, Doug! And your forearms...is that glass? Jesus, man.
Long night. So! We need a car to get around the city, right?
I work two blocks away, Mike, remember? Sometimes it's like you don't even know your brother. And speaking of, what is it you are actually doing for money right now?
EXACTLY. A car. So I was thinking for a while and then fucking Sharise, man, Sharise?
What does she have to do with anything? I haven't talked to her in weeks.
Mike, fuck man! This isn't just about you. Anyway, Sharise. She blows that guy at the dealership, right?
Don't say that. She doesn't deserve that. Wait, you mean Keith? Keith Harvin? God.
....
God DAMMIT!
So, I talked to her and she talked to Keith...
YOU WHAT?
And his boss is on vacation, so I'm gonna be riding those Lexuses around for the next eight days. I only have to give Keith, like, 40 bucks, the RX, the GS...that reminds me, remember when were playing Soul Calibur that time?
On the Dreamcast? That was like, Christmas break freshman year...
Yeah and I beat you with Cervantes? You still owe me, like, 30 bucks, so, you know, whenever, anyway I'm gonna drive the Lexus to Kaitlyn's and maybe like Vermont?
Doug. I know you want a car. But this is a terrible, terrible idea. First, you should have told me you were going to talk to Sharise. You've met her, once?
Twice. Three, counting today.
Twice. Just go back to Best Buy, you were making like $17 an hour.
Nah.
Why the hell not?
...you don't...tuesday inventory with...no.
Fine. Fine. You j--fine. Then do something else and save up and lease a Chevy or something. This sounds good today to steal a Lexus off the lot---
Rent.
Yeah, rent, well, it's lease, first of all, and it's stealing. You think it's a good idea, but you're gonna get caught. It's stupid, is what it is. Stupid. Now let me go to bed.
I'll remember this, Mike! You've never believed in me, never trusted me. You want a ride to work, well fuck you, there's your ride, huh?
You shortsighted asshole. Leave me alone. It's 3:08 in the damn morning, and Doug, I work TWO BLOCKS AWAY!
And you're always gonna with that fucking attitude. I wonder if the dealership's open now. Man, a Lexus...
Call Mom for bail this time.
Psh. Keith has all of Monk on DVD. He's smart with that shit.
What the fuck, Doug, it's three in the morning. Don't you knock?
I haven't slept in days, listen man! I had the best fucking idea, the best man, the best, shit.
Shh...shh. I'll get up, stop hitting, oh, ow, stop, alright. Alright, the best idea you said, what is ---- are you bleeding? Do you have a nosebleed?
Yeah, hit the door of my room running into yours.
You're bleeding all over your forehead, Doug! And your forearms...is that glass? Jesus, man.
Long night. So! We need a car to get around the city, right?
I work two blocks away, Mike, remember? Sometimes it's like you don't even know your brother. And speaking of, what is it you are actually doing for money right now?
EXACTLY. A car. So I was thinking for a while and then fucking Sharise, man, Sharise?
What does she have to do with anything? I haven't talked to her in weeks.
Mike, fuck man! This isn't just about you. Anyway, Sharise. She blows that guy at the dealership, right?
Don't say that. She doesn't deserve that. Wait, you mean Keith? Keith Harvin? God.
....
God DAMMIT!
So, I talked to her and she talked to Keith...
YOU WHAT?
And his boss is on vacation, so I'm gonna be riding those Lexuses around for the next eight days. I only have to give Keith, like, 40 bucks, the RX, the GS...that reminds me, remember when were playing Soul Calibur that time?
On the Dreamcast? That was like, Christmas break freshman year...
Yeah and I beat you with Cervantes? You still owe me, like, 30 bucks, so, you know, whenever, anyway I'm gonna drive the Lexus to Kaitlyn's and maybe like Vermont?
Doug. I know you want a car. But this is a terrible, terrible idea. First, you should have told me you were going to talk to Sharise. You've met her, once?
Twice. Three, counting today.
Twice. Just go back to Best Buy, you were making like $17 an hour.
Nah.
Why the hell not?
...you don't...tuesday inventory with...no.
Fine. Fine. You j--fine. Then do something else and save up and lease a Chevy or something. This sounds good today to steal a Lexus off the lot---
Rent.
Yeah, rent, well, it's lease, first of all, and it's stealing. You think it's a good idea, but you're gonna get caught. It's stupid, is what it is. Stupid. Now let me go to bed.
I'll remember this, Mike! You've never believed in me, never trusted me. You want a ride to work, well fuck you, there's your ride, huh?
You shortsighted asshole. Leave me alone. It's 3:08 in the damn morning, and Doug, I work TWO BLOCKS AWAY!
And you're always gonna with that fucking attitude. I wonder if the dealership's open now. Man, a Lexus...
Call Mom for bail this time.
Psh. Keith has all of Monk on DVD. He's smart with that shit.
In Memoriam
The following blog names were taken.
http://seansullivan.blogspot.com
http://vanhammersly.blogspot.com
http://betterthangoogle.blogspot.com
http://blogspot.blogspot.com
http://knockknock.blogspot.com
http://whosthere.blogspot.com
http://theinterruptingcow.blogspot.com
http://theinterruptingcow.blogspot.com
http://moo.blogspot.com
http://thisonesavailable.blogspot.com
http://seansullivan.blogspot.com
http://vanhammersly.blogspot.com
http://betterthangoogle.blogspot.com
http://blogspot.blogspot.com
http://knockknock.blogspot.com
http://whosthere.blogspot.com
http://theinterruptingcow.blogspot.com
http://theinterruptingcow.blogspot.com
http://moo.blogspot.com
http://thisonesavailable.blogspot.com
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